This is an opportunity to delve into how we can move past being offended, the effects it has on our interpersonal connections, and the journey towards healing through the power of forgiveness and making amends.
Interpersonal connections or relationships in general is important to our mental, physical, and spiritual health. There is a reason why Satan wants strife and division among us. There is a reason why God puts emphasis on love and forgiveness throughout his word. He is the definition of these, and these are the parts of his character that are the reason human race has not been written off all together.
We need to stop the yoyo effect of our emotions where one day we can conquer the world because we choose to not let someone's words or action get to us then the next day World War 3 breaks out in our house, family, or community.
THE APPEARANCE OF OFFENSE
When you say someone is offended you picture someone with their feelings hurt. They are upset and crying. They might be mad and throwing items around. They are probably throwing words around that they will later regret.
Proverbs 19:11 says, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense".
I was watching an interview with Priscilla Shire the other day from her new movie, The Forge. She said something profound. She said that when you say yes to something, you are also saying no to something. This is vice versa also. So being offended is an act of saying no to not overlooking the offense. It is saying yes to the following. You choose to look at it, to ponder on it, and you let it take root within your head then in your heart.
OFFENSE AND ITS CYCLE
Taking offense is something that I don't believe we were made to take on. Our bodies are not designed for it. I believe that we were made for forgiveness. Think about it. We were made in God's image. He is the definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness is like a staple for human survival. He forgave us from the beginning and continues to do so. To reflect him and to allow that type of power to live with in our families and communities we too have to act in forgiveness.
Offense has lived among us since the beginning. Eve chose to eat the apple. Offense is translated from the Hebrew word Pesha. Pesha means transgression or rebellion. She rebelled against God's one command. That offense did a domino effect into her children with Cain and Able. Cain got offended with his brother (who was just doing his job) and then committed an offense. He killed him.
Being offended keeps the cycle of offense going. Because, like I said, when a person is offended, they tend to do and say things they normally would not. Which will cause a ripple effect into the other party if that person is not strong enough to not take the offense to heart. Quarrels in families can go on for decades because one person did not choose to let something go.
THE EFFECT OF OFFENSE
The emotional toll that an offense could have on a person is definitely a real thing. We are pretty complex creatures. That is because each of us have so many different life experiences embedded within our soul. Our soul is our mind will and emotion. Side note that might help you in your journey to healing, we are three-part beings. We are spirit, soul, and body (bone and marrow or flesh). Intriguing, isn't it?
Our soul is where we choose, emphasis on we (meaning you), to process everything coming in. You make a choice to live by your flesh (what your five senses are telling you), or by your spirit which is in direct connection to God. That is a rabbit hole I won't jump in right now.
So, emotions are definitely real. How you take control of them and navigate them is up to you. How
you choose to perceive your life experiences is up to you. What you choose to take from them is up to you. How you choose to let them change you is up to you.
Not moving past an offense can take you down a dark road. Taking them and making them yours, which is what you do when you become offended, stamps them on your heart. In return your heart starts taking form according to the offense. The scripture says as follows:
Proverbs 4:23, "Out of the heart comes the issues of life".
I believe that you cannot hide being offended, just like you cannot hide an offense. Meaning the truth always comes out. Having an offense done to you is not your choice. Taking on the offense is definitely yours. Which I do not downplay the effects an offense has on a person. I think that we can grow to release them to God a little easier every time someone offends you. It starts with taking the step of capturing the offense a little bit sooner every time one comes at you.
YOU HAVE THE CHOICE HOW THE OFFENSE AFFECTS YOU
You can choose to kill it there. The scripture says that we do not fight against flesh and blood but against the powers of darkness. Offenses are used to shut down the power of God. But you can choose to shut them down instead. It takes self-control. It takes will power. Remember your soul? Your mind will and emotions. As soon as you hear an offense you capture it before the thought takes root. The strength of your will to do this is up to you. I believe it gets easier. There is always going to be someone else that will offend you. The funny thing is that you can get so strong at knocking the offense down that sometimes you might not have realized it happened.
Forgiveness is so important. Unforgiveness in families can be passed on for generations. Look at the Hatfield's and McCoys. Perfect example of generational hatred and offense. So much unnecessary hurt. Division within a family or community is the goal of Satan. Unity is the only way we will be able to overcome his schemes.
Look at the photo of the fish. We need each other. The word says that where two or more are gathered, there I will be. If we are all united together then we can conquer any issue. United in one accord under the hand of God is where we are able to do this.
SATAN KNOWS HOW TO OFFEND YOU
We do not fight against flesh and blood. Satan knows your weaknesses. He knows what makes you tick. He knows what makes your feelings get hurt. I think we need to start observing ourselves the way he does. We need to see what gets our feelings hurt and be prepared ahead of time, so they don't. This is vital in moving past an offense. Why would we want to continue to go around the same mountains of feelings over and over again. That is not process.
I completely believe there is a reason that the part of the armor that is our shoe is considered the shoes of peace. When we remain in peace no matter what is thrown at us, then we can tread over some ground. We can go the distance. The shoes of peace causes us to walk over rocky ground just the way we would walk over flat plains. They can whether the storm.
We have got to be more intentional with having that atmosphere of peace within us no matter what so we can be ready in season and out of season for the storms of life.
FORGIVENESS VS. BEING OFFENDED
Forgiveness is a big part of peace. When we choose to forgive, we are choosing to allow God to take control. When we try to control the situation, we mess things up. More than likely we will cause that ripple effect I spoke of earlier. Where one offense was made then we get offended then another offense is made in anger or frustration. But with forgiveness we choose to eliminate ourselves from the equation. We allow God to work.
Forgiveness frees up a part of our soul that was meant to grow. Unforgiveness causes it to stay stagnant. When water stays in one place it becomes nasty. Stagnant water is not what we want. It is not clean to drink or bath in. We want to demolish what would hinder the rivers of living water to run through us. We don't want to stop the wells within us.
We want to be able to provide something fresh for people around us. People don't want to drink from stagnant water. But when we allow God to move through us they will get the wells of living water that comes directly from him.
When we are choosing to forgive on the daily and not hold on, we are choosing life. We are saying no to the schemes of the devil and yes to the power of God. We are saying no to division in our family and yes to unity and God moving us. We are saying no to staying in one place, and yes to moving forward to the next thing God has for us.
The power of forgiveness and moving past an offense can bring great restoration within a person's heart. It will bring restoration back into families. I believe it will bring restoration into people's mental and physical health also.
Are you holding onto any offenses? I pray that today you would let them go and give God back the control of defending and protecting you. Give him back the pen to your life.
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